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"I always knew you were a wanker - and now i know it for a fact." His wife said, entering the bedroom; and as he thought his worst nightmare had arrived, his dreams began to come true.()()He looked down in shame at his predicament, letting her scornful laughter assail him mercilessly. She approached, like a cat stalking a mouse, placing a booted heel between his shoulders, pinning him to the mirror, forcing him to face his perverse alter ego, eye-to-eye."I've come home early thanks to Mrs. Lord's troublesome son, Gordon." She informed himcurtly. "Were you talking to him earlier?" NO!" He gasped." Certainly not." Are you sure?" She spat venomously, grinding her boot into his back."Absolutely sure." He said, genuinely bewildered by the question."We caught him, just as i found you." She said, apparently satisfied with his answer. "Cock in hand. I was about to call Mrs. Barton when i got home, only to find you talking filth. Now tell me. Why?"Peter saw there was no other option but to. " Personnel isn't going to let me take three weeks to clear," said Bob. "I can't wait that long." Have to," said the OIC. "That's how long it takes." Why can't I go home and the legs follow?" asked Bob."Because we can't fit them to you if you and the legs aren't here," said the Major."Somebody else can fit them to me," said Bob."Look, we're going the extra mile to accommodate you already. Technically all we're required to give you is a working wheelchair. Take it or leave it, Sergeant." I came to you as a part of the chain," said Bob. "I'm not satisfied. Who is your next higher in the chain?"Major Bonnewitz wrote a room number on a post it note and handed it to Bob. "Go there," he said.The room number turned out to be the offices of the patient advocate. Every military hospital has a patient advocate, who is normally a civilian, who is an "advocate" for all patients with all problems. Normally the patient advocate takes the complaint, says he (or she) will look into it, and then calls.
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